A guest contribution
In her December blog, Andreea has described so beautifully one of the inevitable consequences of ageing - "in later life when the male genitals stop giving as much".
For many men, this is the last straw in their inevitable decline as the years take their toll. But I challenge this pessimistic view.
Wikipedia says "ageing represents the accumulation of changes in a human being over time and can encompass physical, psychological, and social changes. Reaction time, for example, may slow with age, while memories and general knowledge typically increase." In other words, it's not all bad. Some really good things happen too.
Ageing has kindly introduced me to Tantra, of which I knew nothing until recent years.
In our earlier years, we often carry the burden of "performance". Something we think our women expect and a myth perpetuated in our porn-ridden society. But the practice of Tantra, in its sexual side, has enabled me to throw off the mantle of performance and, at last, to enjoy my sexuality. What took me so long?
Unfortunately known medically as erectile dysfunction, this decline has had such a bad press that all we can think about is how to fix it. Many have tried prescription drugs, such as the "blue pill", but in my experience their effect is short lived and we can easily get drawn into the need for a stronger dose.
We've been conditioned that orgasm through ejaculation is our ultimate goal as men. Many are taught in adolescence that sex is for procreation and that sexual pleasure is sinful. And the porn industry pretends that women just crave our cocks and spunk inside them. What's the truth?
The first key lesson that I have learned along the tantric way is to forget about performing and to focus on submitting. If you are fortunate to be taught by a Tantrika who is entirely comfortable with her own body and who understands the male psyche, then she will open a door to liberation.
The second important tantric lesson is to forget the ultimate goal to cum and to relish the ride along the tantric journey. All those nerve endings in the head of your penis (4,000 apparently) still enjoy touch. (It's unfair, I know, that a woman can enjoy about 8,000 nerve endings in the tip of her clitoris, but there's another pleasure to share!)
Finally, the pleasure of tantric sex is in the FUN.
